Compelling Powers

 

 

I am compelled by two powers to write this.

The power of convection oven has compelled me to bring her justice.  I shall not give names; these are what bakers said about convection oven, and there are tons more negative comments out there:

“Almost all of the cheesecakes that I baked in it (convection oven) were a flop.”

“The fan of convection ovens can be too strong for cake batters, and the disturbance could cause some cakes to fall. Less movement in the oven is better for fragile items like cakes.”

 

This is what she has asked me to convey:

“Your cheesecakes were a flop because your skill sucks.  For you who think that I am too strong, either you are so ignorant or you are so egoistic that you cannot accept anyone better!!??  I am just so glad I didn’t end up in your kitchen, but HKG’s.  It’s not like she didn’t have a choice you know.  You see, I am not alone; my partner, the convention oven, lives with us. Honestly, her skill sucks too when she started baking with convention oven, but at least she is not as ignorant and egoistic.  She found me and eventually convinced that I am the one.  I don’t burn your cake; you don’t have to tent it. On the contrary, I give you beautiful, even tan on your cakes. Plus, you can look straight into your cake every freaking second while baking. Have a look at the cheesecake HKG baked last week.  Get it? Get it?

 

 

What you need is skill and knowledge, which you obviously don’t have. With me, reduce temperature by 10 to 15C.  If you are using a dark baking pan, reduce by another 10C.”

The power of cheesecake has compelled me to air her grievances.

 “I prefer to be baked in a convection oven.  Firstly, convention oven gives me freckles. Would you like freckles on your face? Huh, huh??? Secondly, I don’t like to be tented, it’s already hot in the oven; tent?? Are you nuts?  Do you think I like cracks on my face? Are you out of your freaking mind? I love to go crack-less; it takes skills but it's possible.  More importantly, crack is not my fault!  Neither is the convection oven’s! She was merely doing what you told her to do.  You heated me too much too high.  Do I look like a balloon to you? Even balloon burst at some point of time. The crater around the cheesecake?  -  Not my fault! Again, a temperature issue. Come on, even Ramsay’s cheesecake has that! What’s so big deal?  Move on people !

I admit that I am not perfect;  I know that I am temperamental.  But hey, I am a very forgiving cake.  Ok? Are we cool here?  I may have freckles with scar face, but I still taste as good.  BUT, if you are just as shallow as I thought you were, top me with fresh berries.  Then go learn from the expert because there are tons of people who love me just as I am - without garnish.

The bottom line is; if you could just brush up your skills, that would save us all tons of pain and frustration, not to mention finger pointing.

One last thing, you forgive yourself every time you make a mistake; why can’t you be as forgiving as me to others?? After all, it’s your fault that your skill sucks! ”